When God Speaks and I Hear Him Clearly

1st Moment of Clarity; FEAR - December 21, 2023 

"Hubby, you know fear is something else. It really can stop you from everything. I was standing praying and thinking about the house and my fears about buying it. Thinking about Betty and just then I heard a quiet voice speak in my ear saying, "you won't be sharing walls." that's all the voice said. I cried. Ken, smoke I can smell living here and no one smokes. Its chimneys, it may be burning wood, it could be poor air quality but all I do is close the window until it goes away. The fans are great for recycling cool air inside. I know she wants to be kind and for everyone to live in peace. 

George wouldn't even be selling if it weren't for his health problems. My biggest fear is for us to regret buying a home and living with the consequences. But I think that not trying to buy this home is just my fear again and who can say what will happen? Why can't it be the biggest blessing for us? 

Fear will stop you from improving your life, it'll stop you from moving cross country cause you think what if...? If God shuts a door, okay He's got something better but it is a shame to live in regret for the rest of our lives because we wouldn't take a chance and fell victim to our fears wondering what could have been? I was even letting my fear talk me out of liking or wanting this house. I was prepared to hear we can't get it and then we'd have to move on. That's how convincing and dangerous fear is."

 

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2nd Moment of Clarity "Live in the Present" - December 29, 2023 

"Hi hubby, I had another night of clarity and this time it is about me not moving beyond my past. I was praying and worshipping God while fixing dinner. All of a sudden it hit me, like a ton of bricks! Here I am blaming myself for all my financial mistakes in the past, not saving money when I was working, not choosing college, always starting at the lowest positions, not joining a 401K, or putting anything aside and worst yet not saving $$s when God specifically told me to. 

I've been carrying this guilt around with me all these years and even though I repented and apologized over and over again, I still couldn't get past it. Then, while I was praying I felt strongly in my spirit that God has turned my ashes to beauty. He is buying us our Home Ken. It's bad when we make mistakes or when we disobey. But God said I've seen your tears and I've seen how much you have changed to correct your mistakes. I see that you know how to save $$. In fact, bc of that, we paid for the inspection out of our own money and didn't have to charge that along with the appraisal. 

The Lord said to me that He has forgiven me and just because I messed up doesn't mean we can't have the best ending. What a testimony to have that we didn't handle our finances well when we were younger but eventually we learned and we repented meaning we got out of cc debt, we worked to get our cc scores high, we worked hard to increase our income while keeping our expenses to a minimum, we learned how to save, I learned how to properly use credit cards. I now pay them off in 30 days! 

God told me He has seen all of this Ken. I don't have to carry around with me all this unnecessary guilt and God is rewarding us with a house we didn't have the money to buy!! 

That is INCREDIBLE! 

That's not to say people shouldn't be careful as stewards or that if we mess up, it's okay just say we're sorry and God will come through. No, that's not how it works! He searches the heart. He has seen both of our hearts Ken. He sees the anguish, the torment we've struggled with. He has seen the hard work through fatigue, sickness, mental struggles, day job, getting older, all of it. And yet our ashes have turned into beauty. 

You can start off Rocky but you can end up a Winner. Praise GOD!"